Saturday, March 20, 2010
Me, perfectionist? Not a chance
I am learning that I am a perfectionist. When my counselor first discussed this with me, I was like no way, not even close. When she explained what she meant, it was like she was looking in my mind. I did not think so because in my mind, I am constantly failing. If my house is not in perfect order, I am a failure. If I don't get the girls to bed every night by a certain time, I am a failure. If I do not fix a huge dinner every night I am a failure. I have set the standard so high for myself, there is no way for me to reach it. Every day when I don't, I am more disappointed with myself. Everytime someone I love is in a bad mood, somehow I see it as my fault. Even when it has nothing to do with me. When my kids are grumpy for a few days, I am a failure as a mother. I feel as though I am not good enough to be their mother. To make up for this feeling, I try to make everything in their lives perfect. Now that I am learning more about what these feelings of failure really are, I am seeing how unrealistic this truly is. I cannot be responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. So I am working on being just what I am-imperfect.
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Like we talked about the other night, I'm sure it makes you feel better that this failure has a name...you being a perfectionist. I'm proud of what you're doing: helping yourself and others! Love you!
ReplyDeleteSarah
Thank you for being so supportive. Like I told you, you are on my list of what makes me happy and you will always be. Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteKrista,
ReplyDeleteI just read your blog entries. I think it's great that you have started this. I guess now I see what blogs are all about. I started one and had no idea what to write about, but yours really hit home. I think I've known you now for about 5yrs or so, and I remember one of the very 1st things that stood out to me when we fist met. You were one of the most devoted and passionate mothers I had ever met. I could tell that you always had your childrens' best interest in mind. You are very hilarious and are always a joy to be around! I know life gets to you sometimes, and I can really relate to the stressing, worrying, & the self esteem issues and not thinking that you're good enough. But I think you are one of the most fabulous & genuine people I know. You are very authentic and honest and you are a good friend. Averi, Ella, & Kendall are very lucky to have you as an influence in their life!
Love ya!
Malena